The Epitaphs

The graves of Aaron Zebi Friedman and Rebecca Liberman Friedman can be found in the Salem Fields Cemetery in the Cypress Hills neighborhood of Brooklyn, New York. They are located in the "Beth HaMedrisch Breuder des Bundes" section which is along Jamaica Avenue adjacent to the cemetery office.

Salem Fields is a beautifully landscaped memorial park, well-known for its architecturally notable mausoleums housing the remains of some of the wealthiest and well-known New York German-Jewish families of the last two centuries, including Guggenheims, Shuberts, Lewisohns, Marshalls, Warburgs, and many others. In contrast our Aaron and Rebecca are resting in modest plots marked by simple headstones.

Unfortunately much of Aaron's epitaph has been eroded away by a century-and-a-half of rains. What can be clearly read is his name in English at the top AARON ZEBI FRIEDMAN. After four unreadable lines (which may well have included his Hebrew name followed by a reference to his authorship of Tuv Taam), is a vertical acrostic. Except for the last line of the acrostic, only the bold initial letters survive, spelling – in three columns from top to bottom – Aharon Tzvi ben Reb Yaakov Shalom Friedmann. What faded away are the verses which likely described something about his life and character. The last horizontal line of the acrostic survives and reads: My soul is with [G-d’s] love – Among the stars – Guarding the wisdom [of Torah]. Below that appear the words: “His soul ascended to G-d on Sunday, the 12^th of Iyar.” The year (5736 or 1876) is expressed numerologically as a modification of a verse in the Torah – Deuteronomy 33:19 – which results in: There the righteous [ritual] slaughterers will slaughter" (A reference to Aaron Zebi Friedman’s service as a shochet.) The acronym at the bottom stands for: May his soul be bound up in the bonds of everlasting life.

Thankfully the epitaph of our great-great grandmother Rebecca was made of a more weather-resistant stone and is completely readable. The very moving Hebrew may be translated as:

Here lies the woman, Mrs. Rivka, daughter of Rabbi Yaakov of blessed memory, wife of Reb Aharon Tzvi Friedman, who died on Sunday, the 23^rd of Marcheshvan 5626 [1865]. Alas! Sudden, cruel death, you came with frightening haste. You darkened the sun at noon. You struck down this mother of babes and sucklings, and you did not ask if she were old or tender in years. Woe is me! The whimpering of the children: “Come, let us wail on the field of tears, on the grave of our mother who has gone forever, She who would scurry to protect us as the apples of her eye. We have not merited that she raise us up to the chuppah and good deeds.” Accept her soul in the bonds of everlasting life in peaceful rest among the righteous, by the decree of G-d the merciful king. May her soul be bound up in the bonds of everlasting life.

The Portraits

Two large portraits of Aharon and his second wife were painted in oil from life and have passed down in the family through the generations. For many years they graced the home of Nathan and Sadie Friedman, my grandparents. From my earliest childhood memories, my parents, Robert and Edith Friedman displayed them in their homes; and for the past three decades they have been in the possession of my late sister, Rachel, and her husband Michael Albert.

We know that Aharon's first wife, Rebecca Liberman, my great-great-grandmother, was a relatively young mother with several small children when she died under tragic circumstances. This is described in Hebrew on her gravestone in Brooklyn. (I shall share the inscription in my next posting.) My father was told that Rabbi Aharon was compelled to take a second wife to care for his youngsters. Dad did not know this lady's name. Perhaps a reader of this blog can help with more information.

To all the descendants of Aharon Tzevi Friedman

In the course of working on piecing together our family tree, I came to the realization that a forum was needed to share (while there is still time!) memories and memorabilia with my own children and grandchildren, as well as with a very large field of cousins, most of whom I have yet to meet, and most of whose names I don't even know.

Twenty-first century technology now affords us extraordinary new means of sharing information around the globe in the blink of an eye, so it would would be inexcusable for me to keep to myself information which could help others of you to better understand the early history of our family in America. Publishing this blog seems the best way to reach to the widest circle, and it is my hope that each of you will help our "followers" list to grow by sharing Tuv Taam with other corners of the family that are known to you.

Over the next weeks and months I shall be adding photos, articles, and anectodotes about our ancestors, and I hope that many of you will take advantage of adding your own comments to the mix.

Who was Aharon Tzevi Friedman?

The following article first appeared in the 1906 Jewish Encyclopedia, and can be accessed online at JewishEncyclopedia.com: FRIEDMAN, AARON ZEBI by Cyrus Adler Shoḥeṭ: born in Stavisk, Poland, March 22, 1822; died in New York city May 17, 1876. At the age of seventeen Friedman became shoḥeṭ for the city of Stavisk and the neighboring country. He removed to Bernkastel-on-the-Moselle, Germany, where he became rabbi and shoḥeṭ in 1844. Four years later he went to New York, where he was chosen as shoḥeṭ of one of the largest abattoirs in the city. Friedman held this position until his death. Owing to charges of cruelty made by Henry Bergh, president of the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, Friedman wrote (1874) a defense of sheḥiṭah entitled "Ṭub Ṭa'am," translations of which were two years later made from the Hebrew into English, French, and German. His strict Orthodoxy and learning caused him to be widely known as the "Ba'al Shem" of America.

DF explains:
Aaron Zebi is the Anglicized form of the Hebrew name pronounced Aharon Tzevi.

A Shohet is an ordained expert in the laws of Jewish ritual slaughter or shehita. Animals must be put to death painlessly, and blood must be drained immediately.

Stavisk is a small town north of Lomza in what was Lithuanian Poland.

Tub Ta'am is the Anglicized form of the Biblical phrase Tuv Ta'am, which means "in good taste".

Ba'al Shem means "holder of the Good Name".